Train Wreck

Confession time... I am a fan of The Bachelor. I've watched every season but one. It's like a train wreck that even though I know it's wrong, I can't help but look. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to keep watching this season. It's only one episode in and I'm so annoyed. Oh, who am I kidding... we all know I'm going to keep watching!

Anyway, Bachelor Brad is back for a second chance to find his true love. His first season was three years ago and in the end he didn't pick either of the women. Apparently this was some sort of reality TV war crime and his penance is to repeat his time on the show. I don't see the big deal - he didn't see a future with either one so he let them go instead of proposing and then breaking up 30 days later like the other Bachelors before him. But, his public beatings seem to have taken every ounce of self-esteem from the poor man and he's spent years in therapy figuring out why he didn't propose to the women he didn't love and now he's ready to fix this mistake! He better find himself a wife this time... one of his potential brides suggested that if he doesn't he would have to move to a remote cave, grow some sort of crazy beard, and never be seen in public again.

So on his first night there was the usual parade of crazy quality "ladies". The first one out slapped him! There was a woman who summoned him to the car to open the door for her. Another one sang to him... seriously - WHY do they think this is a good idea? Would you, on a first date with someone serenade him? I couldn't even watch that one... thank God for the DVR so I can fast forward through the truly awkward moments. Another "lady" told him that someone dumped her because of the size of her ass and then proceeded to ask him if he could handle, ahem, all of her. Oh dear god. Oh and I saved the best for last... there is a girl with fangs. FANGS. I'll say it again - FANGS!!!  And he says "they are really hot". And HE KEPT HER. I can't believe I voluntarily watch this.

Next week I'll be keeping a count on how many times someone says "For the right reasons". I'm sure I heard it at least 10 times in the 2 hours tonight. I also may have to start drinking on Monday nights to survive the season. Because I just can't miss this "journey"... that would be crazy!